Lost Keys, Found Keys, Give Me My Keys, Please!!!!

I once lost my keys while coming back to work from...somewhere. After an excrutiating search, I resigned myself to going home and beginning the process of getting replacements. As it turns out, after I had done so, someone actually found my keys, looked at the little mini CVS card attached to the ring, called the store and they called me. The rest is history.
But this is what I wrote to my colleagues at work. You might try something similar if you ever lose yours - it might not get you your keys back, but it's good for a laugh.

Hello all,

It has come to my attention that a very important set of keys has gone missing: mine. Time of disappearance: somewhere between 11:30am and 6pm yesterday. Description: a ton of keys on several looped-together rings, all bound to one blue metal....thingie - you know, it has the part that you can push in so that you can hook it around something. The blue metal...thingie is large and has numerous straight markings on it which Father Time has etched to form some undecipherable message...most likely one at my expense. My car and house keys are on it, along with many whose purpose is long forgotten but that we all know will come in extremely handy.....someday.

I would appreciate it if you all could keep your eyes ever watchful for my set to see if it somehow springs out of a box or just happens to be lying lazily about as if to say, "Oh - were you looking for me?" I have not a dime with which to repay any of you, but since I know that only the highest caliber of people are in our office, I'm sure that a simple expression of undying gratitude and eternal pledge of loyalty will do nicely. And if they don't, then you are a very sad case indeed.

Thank you all!